Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Pull up a chair...this may take a while.

I recalled having a conversation with a friend about a week ago about how sometimes stressful things come along in our lives. I commented that it seems that when it rains, it pours. Well, little did I know that when I uttered those words, that I would be going through it so soon after. Not that I'm a stranger to having some stress in life, but I was just floored yesterday with all the ups and downs of the last few days.

I was already working through some stress with H's new job and finishing some business with his old boss, but that was just the beginning. As discussed in a previous post, we are waiting for Friday to find out if my sister's lump is nothing or something. Then, we got the good news that my niece is pregnant. Yesterday, I was so relieved that my brother made it home safely and that his wife could finally reveal the secret she's been keeping while he was gone. She lost 70 lbs. while he was away. I am so proud of her, she worked really hard. Their daughter has also lost 17 lbs. also. That is just awesome.

Well, last night, I got a call from my mom. I almost always call her. Because I call her so regularly, it is rare for her to call. And when she does, I know it's one of two things: really good news/update about the family like a baby being born OR it's really bad news. So, not expecting any updates, I knew that her call was probably not good. She called to tell me that my uncle, who had had a biopsy recently of a lump on his neck, was told that it was cancerous. This uncle is my mom's brother and, in her words, it is amazing he's been doing so well for so long. We say this because he drank and smoked for years, almost to the point of deterioration. But he was able to quit drinking and smoking and bounced back very well. It's been great to see him so healthy and lucid, just like my grandpa was when he quit drinking before he passed away. But, now they need to do a CATscan and find out where the cancer has originated from. They think it may be in his lungs, probably from the years of smoking.

I should probably mention that my family, on both sides, has had their fair share of cancer. But almost all of them, I believe, have had major contributing factors, such as smoking and drinking. Thankfully, many in the family have quit for good and most of my cousins never started either. But, looking at the fact that the use of either of these seem to come to the same result, has me really worried. Worried for my sister, my uncle, and also my parents who are both smokers. The idea of having to eventually lose my parents is hard enough, but to know that our time with them may be cut short because of cigarettes angers me. It's hard to think about. I hate it.

Cancer is such an evil, ugly monster on its own, it shouldn't be helped along.

So, I'm up and down, up and down. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster that has something new to throw at us with each twist and turn. I was so emotionally drained yesterday that I couldn't bring myself to do much. Depression is another thing that is bad enough on its own and shouldn't be helped.

As a side note, another thing that blindsided me was the death of Heath Ledger. I have very few favorite anythings, especially actors, but he was definitely one of my favs. I've admired him since "10 Things I Hate about You". Such a sad thing. I hope his little girl will be okay.

I know that I am really blessed in my life. My family is healthy and safe, my little one is growing well and strong, and we have a home and food. And I know the Lord will provide and guide. But sometimes, it can be pretty hard to get through the downs of life. I'll try to post again when I'm not so gloom and doom. Thanks for the ear though.

5 comments:

Whit said...

*Hugs* Tough stuff, honey. You're in my thoughts.

Mody said...

That's a lot to deal with! Feel free to vent to me anytime. :D

amisare waswerebeen said...

Thanks guys. I appreciate it.

Mama P said...

I am sorry about everything. Life can be a bitch, plain and simple. But you have so many blessings, too. Remember them, but also know that it's okay to be sad. You know that.

Something McSomethingkins said...

Cheer up Charlie...