Does anyone know the capital of the state of Insanity?!

I'm pretty tired right now. It could have something to do with the fact that it is almost midnight. Naaah! It's probably because of that, and because I did nothing but write a paper from 9:30 this morn till about 3:30 pm this afternoon, and I didn't go to sleep until after 1 am last night. I'm guessing it's all of the above. While cramming in my paper writing this morning, I told myself, "Maybe you'll learn your lesson and not put it off until the last minute next time." Then I said, "Yeah right. You always say that and nothing ever changes. You'll still be cramming a paper the day it's due." Well, if it ain't broke... :)

I am taking GRE again in the morning at 8 am. I hope I can get there on time. The test takes about 3 hours. H emailed me a study guide to the analytical writing section of the test (aka the part I didn't score high enough on) that MIT put together. I studied it for about two hours and I think it has really helped to realize some of the errors I made in my writing last time. I hope it will help me this time. Mister's class has a field trip tomorrow to the Natural History Museum at my university. They sent the info home if any parents wanted to tag along. I really want to go with them, but it's at the same time as the test. Tiny wanted to go too, but she'll also be in school.

I remarked to H today how funny life can be. Even though I am stressing on finals and he is dealing with a difficult client, it just shows that life is anything but dull. I had the thought today that I am really glad that he and I are sharing this ride together. There's no one else that I would want to experience it all with. I'm really grateful that no matter how stressful it is right now, we are all doing well. The stress is all over stuff that is normal, healthy stuff and it will all pass soon. There are definitely a lot of much harder things that we could be stuck dealing with and I'm really happy that it's just small stuff right now. We are pretty blessed.

I chatted with my friend in Kentucky today. She is finishing her Masters and was hired as a teacher for difficult 8th graders at a junior high a while back. She was sort of thrown into the deep end of the pool, but is managing to stay afloat quite well. She's pretty good at handling the tough stuff and coming out pretty well. At her previous job, she was developing a recreation program from scratch for the youth at a detention facility. She had to complete a weekend course in self-defense for her job and didn't actually have to use these skills until she started teaching the 8th graders. Two kids got into a fight in her classroom, one would not settle down, so she restrained him and basically sat on him until the security officer arrived. The whole time she has him pinned, she continues to teach the lesson to her other students. I tell you, that girl is made of some tough stuff. I would LOVE to student teach in her class. At first glance, you wouldn't know right away how strong she is, mentally and physically. She's a smart, beautiful woman that works hard and loves her kids. I tip my hat to her.

I had my first day in the high school English class on Monday. It is an alternative school, so the class was pretty small. The students and the teacher were nice to me. But I felt a little useless. Half of the class time was spent with the kids reading silently. At that time, the teacher went on about her business and worked on a computer, leaving me to sit and stare at the walls for the last 15 minutes of the class. The students seemed to carry on with the teacher well enough. When her back was turned though, there were still a few eye rolls her way. That made me realize that no matter how much I enjoy what I teach and how much I like my students, they are not always going to like me. I'm going to annoy them sometimes, I will be silently called an idiot or worse, and I might even get an eye roll. I need to develop some tough skin fast but still care about them and what I teach. I hope I can be more useful in this class than on my first day. If not, there are three other teachers I can try out.

Well, I have the GRE in the morning and I will be spending the rest of the day and most of Friday morning writing my 5-7 page theory paper and preparing my project on a postmodern poetry 'zine. Wish me luck! By Saturday, I'll be jello.