Back to School Dreams

We're still in NM and I have pretty limited access to the internet. We're having fun but may be heading home soon. H needs to get back to work and the kids and I need to prepare for school. My final semester grades are in and here's the verdict...one A, two A-, one B, and one B+. I am pretty pleased with those grades. I worked hard for them. I deserved them.

I had another 'back to school' dream. I blogged previously about a dream that I always have before school starts, dating back to high school, where I can't find something to wear on the first day. Well, I had one last night that I also often have before school starts. In the dream, I am in any of the schools that I have attended previously. I am looking for my locker and can't find it and if I do find it, I can't remember my combination. So, I go from locker to locker looking for the one that opens with my combination. Or I have to go to the office to get my combination again. What's also weird is that the combination I always use is the same in every dream, some sequence of 25-10-35. Anyone got any interpretations of that? Let me know.

And a diamond in a pear tree...

Hello from NM! I hope everyone had a great Christmas cause we sure did. The kids received a lot of great toys and are really having a blast. They both got Heely shoes (shoes with wheels on the heels) and have been test driving them. H got a new suit (he's been outgrowing his old ones) and I (along with the other women) got a diamond necklace. I will post pics of it all soon...I forgot to bring my usb cord for the camera. I thought it was really funny that some of the kids' cousins actually got mp3 players and cell phones (keep in mind that they are all 10 and under) and our kids were ecstatic that they got their own tackleboxes and golf balls. Too funny. We also got them some house slippers and they gave us the most thanks for those. They got the major stuff from their Mamaw and Papaw. But they really had a great time.

We then went to my Grandma's house for more presents and tons of food. Tiny suprised me when we were there and she was playing with her cousins. They were playing with makeup and she indulged in that more than usual. She also received a Bratz doll and I didn't know what to think since she has never shown much interest in playing with dolls, be they baby dolls or barbies. However, there she was, playing with her, changing her clothes and brushing her hair. I was pretty surprised. The food was great. My uncle insisted on cooking prime rib in addition to the ham and turkey. There were a lot of laughs, kidding, and good food. Another perk, there were babies everywhere to cuddle. Three of the six new babies were there and they are all so tiny and cute.

Today, my parents are at work. Some of the little cousins will be coming over to play with the kids and I'll probably straighten up around the house. We will be here for New Year's too. They always have a pretty good party for that where karaoke and alcohol take part (no alcohol for me thanks...karaoke is bad enough). Will try to keep this updated while we're relaxing and partying.

The Green Demon

We leave for NM tomorrow and I'm pretty excited. I've been baking up a storm the last two days. Thanks to a fellow blogger, I found a great recipe for gingersnaps. After a few batches and a little tweaking, I got it just how I wanted it. I like them chewy and with a kick. My legs were actually sore from standing half the day, mixing the dough and taking them in and out of the oven. I hardly sat yesterday. Today, I baked another batch, packaged them and delivered them. I have to say that all the baking and playing Christmas music while doing it really put me in the holiday mood. Delivering the treats and other errands had me driving around for about two hours. I am also packing for the trip and am ready to pass out. While at the library, I found an old fav movie on dvd..."Big Trouble in Little China". I used to watch it with my brother over and over again when we were younger. It's very 80's, but entertaining.

This year, we also did Christmas cards with a family picture of us in front of our tree. We've never done those before and they came out pretty good. We tried to have the dog in the pic with us, but she was quite uncooperative.

We are thinking of trading in one of our cars. I don't know what we might gbet, but it would have to have enough room for the dog in the back, like a wagon, van, or small SUV. As long as it is fast, I'm pretty happy. I got spoiled when I got my first 6-cylinder. I love the get-up-and-go. I think it will be weird to drive a regular car, being close to the ground. I've driven taller cars for a while now. I saw the most awesome car today. I found out that it was a 2005 Thunderbird. It was really retro. Here's a pic similar to what it looked like:

It looked cooler in person too. So vintage. It made me want to drive one. I would call it the "Green Demon".

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

I don't know if it's the sentimentality of the season or what, but I was listening to some music today and a song came on that made me cry. It's not even about Christmas or anything either. The song "Is there life out there?" by Reba McIntyre came on and I remebered seeing the video for it a long time ago. I must have been in junior high and it was one of my fav songs and videos at the time. For those who aren't familiar with it, I will post it below and you can see it. But anyways, it's about a woman that married young and had a couple of kids young and decides to go back to college. It's hard and she struggles but achieves her goal when she gets her degree. Why does this have me choked up? Well, because I married younger than the woman in the song did, had kids at a younger age than her, and I am finally graduating in the spring. I think the emotion of it is starting to hit me. I thought I was being silly for feeling like that but then I thought about it and realized I have worked my butt off, I have never given up, and I deserve it. I was proud. I never feel that way about myself, usually I only feel these feeling for my kids when they accomplish something wonderful that I know they worked hard at. I just didn't know that I could feel the same way about something I did. It feels good. And I'll say it again...I'M PROUD OF MYSELF!

I was also thinking that this is the closest I will ever get to keeping a regular journal of my life and will probably print up these pages and bind them. I'm not that great at remembering to actually write about my day, and when I do, I immediately forget all that occurred that day. Hope it will be an acceptable substitute.

Just what did you put in that cup of Christmas cheer?!

Can you believe that I'm still recovering from my finals? I don't think I've ever taken this long to get over the stress at the end of the semester and settle into the holidays. The Christmas tree is up and decorated and I was going to decorate the windows with lights tonight. Maybe it's because I haven't done a lick of shopping yet. Yes, it's true...I haven't bought any Christmas presents yet. I'm sure I'm breaking some sort of law, but oh well.

I feel bad sometimes when we get little gifts or cards from others and we usually can't get something for everyone. Maybe I'll bake a batch of goodies...that's always easy. One thing that I'm pretty thankful for is that we have never put ourselves into debt trying to buy something for everyone or buying a ton of things that will just end up being forgotten by our kids a couple weeks later. I always try to think of a few things that I know they will appreciate and they are usually items that are very inexpensive. I've never been one to rush out and buy the latest toy, outfit, or gadget. It could be because we've never had a ton of money to throw around, but also because I really love focusing on what Christmas is really about. I love feeling the reverence of the quiet, snowy nights, watching the snow fall softly, spending time with my family and friends, hot chocolate and good food, and knowing that the Baby Jesus was born into this world knowing why he came and loving us always. It's amazing. Of course, the presents are nice too, I just don't like how to some people, that's what it's all about. That's not for me, no thanks.

So, for my first official day of my break, I spent the day cleaning up around the house and trying to make it more cozy. I love having the time to work around the house. I hope I can get it put in order before we head to NM. I also want to rearrange Henry's office for him. It's become quite the pile of stuff and is hard to navigate at times. We both have some of the same ideas for it and I hope we can do it before I start school again. I love projects. If we get it going soon, I will post some pics.

GUESS WHAT...

I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE!
I can't believe that I am finally saying those words. I just emailed my last paper to my professor and I really do feel like Jello that will melt at any minute. I'm so exhausted...and feel so liberated at the same time. I want to party, but I also want to nap. I want to scream with joy, and I also almost want to cry. I always say that this semester's finals were the hardest and then I say it again next semester. At least I get to end next semester with a ceremony and a diploma. That's a lot better than what I have to show for this one...a bed covered in books and paper, bags under my eyes, and finally being able to fit in a shower today for the first time in an embarassingly long stretch of days and finals. Oh man. I might not have it in me to even post a long one today. Just know that I am very happy right now...very tired and hungry too. Love you all and thanks for the good wishes and thoughts my way...they already helped me finish and I already got an A in one class. I'll write more after I've regained a solid form that can spell her name.

The Home Stretch

I just turned in my project and now only have one paper standing between me and freedom. I seriously considered blowing it off and then realized that it counts for 20 % of my grade. Yikes! Better get to work.

Does anyone know the capital of the state of Insanity?!

I'm pretty tired right now. It could have something to do with the fact that it is almost midnight. Naaah! It's probably because of that, and because I did nothing but write a paper from 9:30 this morn till about 3:30 pm this afternoon, and I didn't go to sleep until after 1 am last night. I'm guessing it's all of the above. While cramming in my paper writing this morning, I told myself, "Maybe you'll learn your lesson and not put it off until the last minute next time." Then I said, "Yeah right. You always say that and nothing ever changes. You'll still be cramming a paper the day it's due." Well, if it ain't broke... :)

I am taking GRE again in the morning at 8 am. I hope I can get there on time. The test takes about 3 hours. H emailed me a study guide to the analytical writing section of the test (aka the part I didn't score high enough on) that MIT put together. I studied it for about two hours and I think it has really helped to realize some of the errors I made in my writing last time. I hope it will help me this time. Mister's class has a field trip tomorrow to the Natural History Museum at my university. They sent the info home if any parents wanted to tag along. I really want to go with them, but it's at the same time as the test. Tiny wanted to go too, but she'll also be in school.

I remarked to H today how funny life can be. Even though I am stressing on finals and he is dealing with a difficult client, it just shows that life is anything but dull. I had the thought today that I am really glad that he and I are sharing this ride together. There's no one else that I would want to experience it all with. I'm really grateful that no matter how stressful it is right now, we are all doing well. The stress is all over stuff that is normal, healthy stuff and it will all pass soon. There are definitely a lot of much harder things that we could be stuck dealing with and I'm really happy that it's just small stuff right now. We are pretty blessed.

I chatted with my friend in Kentucky today. She is finishing her Masters and was hired as a teacher for difficult 8th graders at a junior high a while back. She was sort of thrown into the deep end of the pool, but is managing to stay afloat quite well. She's pretty good at handling the tough stuff and coming out pretty well. At her previous job, she was developing a recreation program from scratch for the youth at a detention facility. She had to complete a weekend course in self-defense for her job and didn't actually have to use these skills until she started teaching the 8th graders. Two kids got into a fight in her classroom, one would not settle down, so she restrained him and basically sat on him until the security officer arrived. The whole time she has him pinned, she continues to teach the lesson to her other students. I tell you, that girl is made of some tough stuff. I would LOVE to student teach in her class. At first glance, you wouldn't know right away how strong she is, mentally and physically. She's a smart, beautiful woman that works hard and loves her kids. I tip my hat to her.

I had my first day in the high school English class on Monday. It is an alternative school, so the class was pretty small. The students and the teacher were nice to me. But I felt a little useless. Half of the class time was spent with the kids reading silently. At that time, the teacher went on about her business and worked on a computer, leaving me to sit and stare at the walls for the last 15 minutes of the class. The students seemed to carry on with the teacher well enough. When her back was turned though, there were still a few eye rolls her way. That made me realize that no matter how much I enjoy what I teach and how much I like my students, they are not always going to like me. I'm going to annoy them sometimes, I will be silently called an idiot or worse, and I might even get an eye roll. I need to develop some tough skin fast but still care about them and what I teach. I hope I can be more useful in this class than on my first day. If not, there are three other teachers I can try out.

Well, I have the GRE in the morning and I will be spending the rest of the day and most of Friday morning writing my 5-7 page theory paper and preparing my project on a postmodern poetry 'zine. Wish me luck! By Saturday, I'll be jello.

Finals...Good Times!

Here I sit, helping Mister do his math homework. It's slow in coming tonight, especially since H is also trying to outfit them to their snowboards for a quick trip tonight to the slopes. They love to board and have very little fear. That's a good thing for them. I promised myself that I would try it this year. I won't be making that happen tonight though since I have a 6-8 page paper due tomorrow afternoon for my children's lit class. It sounds like it wouldn't be too hard to write a paper about children's lit, but you should try to find a running theme between two novels, ranging from Peter Pan to Winnie the Pooh. It's not as easy as it seems. Comin up this week, I also have to retake the GRE on Wednesday and have a 5-7 page paper due in theory along with my project. I will be SO glad when it's Friday evening and I'm melting onto the couch, watching a movie, and generally feeling buzzed from all the stress relief.

Why am I taking the GRE again, you ask? Well, apparently I didn't get a high enough score on the written section. I really don't understand why I didn't do well enough on this section, especially since writing is my strong point and I have been writing paper after paper for the last 8 years. Needless to say, I was and am still pretty pissed off about this. I am also mad that I have to pay another $130 to take the stupid test over again. I told H that the hardest part for me to deal with is that all through college, how well I did was determined by me: how hard I studied, how well I wrote a paper, etc. And now, I have someone else telling me that I didn't do good enough to merit a better score, someone I've never met and who doesn't know my abilities as a writer from spit. And this person is the one that is holding up my grad school requirements. THAT pisses me off.

Well, glad I could get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

I SO can't wait until we are in NM and eating good food and opening great presents.

A short post to wet you're appetite.

Still busy with school and family. Finals are next week and I am really ready for the semester to be over. I don't know why this semester seems longer than any I've had thus far. It's certainly not the biggest workload I've ever had even though it's the most classes I've taken at one time in a long time. Bad new: I got my GRE scores in the mail this weekend. I knew that I had passed two sections of it but had to wait for the scores to find out how I did on the writing section. Well, my score is not high enough for the grad school standards. So, guess what I will be doing next week on Thursday the 14th? That's right...retaking the GRE. Maybe I'm growing accustomed to self torture, but as long as I get into this program, that's fine. I have to check, but I'm pretty sure that I have a paper due tomorrow and another on Thursday, neither of which I have started. Talk about self torture.

I finished my service learning at the ESL class yesterday. On Wednesday, I will start helping out in some of the high school classes at the same school. I want to get in as much classroom experience as I can before I'm too loaded down in grad school. I was also thinking of signing up to do substituting in the school district next semester too. That would definitely give me a little more experience. The only classes I've substituted before were for my cousin's kindergarten class. That's when I knew that teaching elementary school was NOT for me.

Unfortunately, this post is going to be terribly short because I have to scoot off to class. Will post more when I can. Our internet at home has gone to crap since our neighbor got wireless also. Will need to call on that. Laters.

Making up for lost time

Yes, I suck at updating this thing. I have good reason though as I am at the end of the semester and homework is a pretty consistent thing now. I have one week of classes and one of finals left. I have 2 finals, one project, and 2 papers (min 5-6 pages) due in the next two weeks. How much fun does all that sound?! Anyone wanna try that "Try my Life" show with me? I think out of all that, I fear the papers the most. I consider myself a fair writer, but it's pretty hard for me to come up with an original argument for the paper considering that I don't feel strongly about much of what we've studied. It'll come out in the end though...at midnight the night before it's due. I know it's time to finish up school when I feel too old to be pulling all-nighters to write a paper. I hope my students don't see me as a clueless teacher that piles mounds of homework on them and they come to loathe my very existence. Ok, so I know there will be a few that feel like that no matter how great I am. Oh well...can't win them all.

Am I ready for Christmas, you ask? Someone posed a variation of this question to me the other day. Something along the lines of, "Got all your Christmas shopping done already?" My answer? "Are you kidding?!" I started to wonder why I have not put much thought to the season yet and realized that until finals are a memory and reading three chapters in two days is not required, I'm pretty useless. I can barely keep up with my house, am too tired to plan out dinners, and too stressed to worry about planning ahead when I am in school. So, as soon as my last final is completed at 3pm on Friday the 15th, I will officially be in the "holiday spirit". Probably not any sooner, but after that, I'm all about the holidays. To add to the merriment, we are heading to NM this year for Christmas and New Years. I don't know if H will have recovered from the road trip to CO in time, but come heck or high water, we're going. I get to see all those wonderful babies that have been so busy coming into the world and our family for the last two months. Well, not all of them, but I'm not complaining. Beautiful, tiny angels that I can cuddle, kiss and horde all to myself. I love it. I think H believes that it's a sign that I am getting baby hungry. Nope...just enjoying the beauty of them without the fuss.

I read a fellow blogger's post today and it had a section of little known facts about her. I found it interesting and thought I would do the same. If you want to ask anything, I will answer. If you know me, you know I'm not shy about sharing.

@ age 20: I was married with two kids.

fear: losing my family, dying young (worry more for my family than myself), having regrets about my life when it's almost over

@ 28: I want to be done with school and teaching in a high school.

secret: I want to take math classes to get a teaching endorsement in it, but I'm afraid that I suck so bad at it that even if I get the endorsement, my students will know more than me. I also have a secret desire to enter interior design and decorating...maybe later.

Things I want to do before I die: Do interior design and decorating. Write a book (no matter what size it is). See my family happy and well. Do real estate. Do home staging. Meet one of my idols (Wanna know who they are? George Strait, Gordon B. Hinckley, J.K. Rowling, and a few hundred more.), travel extensively with my family, show my kids places and things most kids only read about in textbooks (paintings, natural wonders of the world, etc), learn to enjoy cooking, become organized (this will take a while), and many other things.

I am interested in knowing what some of you have planned for your life. Well, I think I have made up for my lapse in blogging with the length of this one. Will try harder to keep it up. Laters.