Sunday, August 06, 2006

You must write!

Ok. I've made a decision. I've decided that I'm just going to write in this blog and keep in mind that I might possibly be the only one who reads or cares about it. I saw a t-shirt the other day that said, "No one wants to read your stupid blog." I thought about that more than I care to admit and wondered, "What is the real purpose of a blog?" I don't even remember my reason for starting to write one. I think it might have been because of a class website on blogger. Oh well. After a while, I realized that I hate it that no one comments on what I write. *complaining minus the whinyness* And I have figured out why it bothers me. I am a writer. When a writer writes, it's for others to read and enjoy or hate. It is what we are conditioned to expect. When you begin writing in your youth, you seek the approving feedback of those you love. You want to hear that they think your words are worth more than markings on a paper. You want to hear that they understand the meaning. Then, you have to write for school. That is when it becomes harsh. You write a paper, it could be about a book, a movie, a play, or some pressing world topic. You write whatever they ask you to write about, and as a writer, you put a little of yourself into this work. Then you turn it in with the satisfaction that only a great writer can have. Then you get it back. It's not pretty. Apparently, the teacher has missed the genius of your talent in your writing. She only sees grammatical errors, punctuation errors, and room to improve. Just when you are about to rip up the papers in your hand and take out a hit contract on your teacher, the people who hired her, and the professors who taught her in college, you find the notes on the back of the paper. They are encouraging words, words that show she did recognize your talent and urges you to try harder, reach farther, do more. She knows there is a deep well of words and thoughts within you that has yet to be explored. So, you write. Years pass, papers pass, and you are still writing. You write your thoughts, your dreams, and your assignments. Everywhere you turn, someone is reading your work, commenting on it, critiquing it. You've become accustomed to feedback, support, criticism. Then you decide to keep a blog. A way to sort of write from a more personal place in you than anyone gets to see, no longer behind the veil of everyday life and assignments. So, you write. You pour out your day, your jokes, your dissapointments, and all the little lessons you learn along the way. This is the most personal, and informal writing that you have let anyone read. And then, nothing. Not one comment, maybe not even a viewer. Confusion sets in. Where is the feedback, the applause, the criticism, the A+? What does a writer do without these things, that voice that reflects back the high and low points of their writing? These are the questions that ran through my mind. Until now. What does the writer do? You write. Even when no one is listening, reading, or commenting. You do it because you're a writer and there is an internal voice within you that, once released onto paper, will never shut up again. You must allow it to flow, or you will be going against the very way you are built. You are a writer, you must write.


Something McSomethingkins said...

A+ :)

That was some deep stuff, and really true for that matter.

I write my blog because I need an outlet to vent, and an outlet to think about things I would otherwise forget 10 minutes after they happen.

Secondly, it is a good way for me to express myself and share the amazingness that is my life with those that I deign to call my friends:) J/K. I figure that for those who care, there you go, and for those who don't, they can't complain that I never tell them anything about my life, which they do. I'm not a talker, I'm a writer.

Mama P said...

Thank you for commenting on my blog. I am glad you made a committment to keep writing. It keeps me sane personally and I know it will do the same for you. Of course, there will be days when you are about as crazy as Mel Gibson after a drunken fiesta in Malibu... but in general? High hopes. You go!

Liz said...

I hear ya sister, It's crazy that we get trapped into our little psychological path of needing to be evaluated in some way when we write. As with anything we work hard at I guess, we want someone to appreciate our talent or effort. I also give you an A+ and a sticker of you choosing. *applause*