Winnie the Who?

Here is the new Joke of the Day. Will do more posting later.

BIG PEOPLE WORDS
A group of kindergarteners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on "no baby talk." "You need to use 'big people' words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your grandmother. Use 'big people' words. She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said, "No, you took a ride on a train. You must remember to use 'big people' words." She then asked little Alec what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's wonderful!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alec thought real hard about it, puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Crap."

A laugh a day keeps everyone coming back for more

I have stumbled on a website with an endless list of pretty good jokes. So, I will now be implementing a "Joke of the Day" on this blog. Each day (or the days that I have time to do more than check my email and rush off to class), I will post a joke that I have enjoyed and wish to spread the joy to you. Consider it a gift from me to you...sure, it's intangible and cheap, but what more can you ask for than a good laugh. Hope you enjoy it too. Just a warning...the jokes may not always be very PC or even PG, but it has to be funny enough for me to overlook that. Here's the first:

FRIENDSHIP
When it comes to friendship, here's what happens. If a woman doesn't come home to her husband one night, and the next day she tells him she slept over at a friend's house, the man calls his wife's 10 best friends and none of them know anything about it. If a man doesn't come home to his wife one night, and the next day he tells her he slept over at a friend's house, she calls her husband's 10 best friends-eight of them say he did sleep over, and two claim he's still there.

Texting, IMing, and Emails...Oh my!

I was sitting in my first class today next to a girl that had a Dell laptop. There were only three people in class with these wonders of technology on our desktops and I was one of them. So, I struck up a conversation with her. Not that I only conversate with those that own a laptop...that's pretty elitist. Anyways, she was telling me that she had a professor that banned the use of laptops in class because some of the other students complained about them. I thought that was odd and counter-productive for some students, seeing that nowadays, most students type faster than they write. However, I began to understand this professor's decision about halfway through class. I glanced over at this girl's screen and noticed that she was simultaneously taking notes, IMing, emailing, and text messaging. Her phone would vibrate about every 3 minutes with a new text message and her hands were typing a million miles an hour with the many things she was trying to do at once. It was pretty distracting. Thankfully, we were in the back row (yes, I'm one of those slackers in the back row) and the prof didn't notice or we would have been banned from laptop use also. Please people...don't abuse the privilege.

In this day and age of technology, we can type notes in class and look up important info on the subject at the same time. With cell phones, we can contact most anyone at anytime needed. And we can even do all this hands free. If you can't do any of this without offending others (like the person on the cell phone driving 10 miles under the limit, you know who you are!), DON'T DO IT! Now, I do talk on my phone while driving...however, I try to avoid it when driving a stick shift. But the difference is that I have the ability to do so. I can chat, check my blind spot, signal, and stay on the speed limit all at the same time. I CAN do it, so I do. I want to invent a bumper sticker that says something to the effect of "If you can't do two things successfully at once, DON'T!" There will be a picture of a cell phone next to it...and maybe some other things that people try to do, like putting on makeup or reading a map. I was told that applying makeup while driving in California is called "farting" or "farding". Correct me on which it is if you know. I thought that was an appropriate name for it. Life and it's scenery distract me enough while I am driving, I don't need to be worrying about how my mascara looks (probably why I don't wear any...too high maintenance).

Funny sidenote:
I noticed that my grammar prof has named each lesson. One of them is titled "I wish I was a little bit taller." Instantly, I was transported back to the mid 90's and a song that went..."I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl that looked good, I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 6-4 Impala." It just popped right into my head like I had heard it yesterday. It is a song called "I Wish" by Skee-Lo from back in my junior high days. I had to look it up to find out the title and artist. But, oh what a memory trip back to feathered bangs and baggy jeans with a tight top.

I can't believe the 80's fashions are coming back. I mean, didn't we learn the first time? I remember having a conversation on recycled fashion and swearing to never revisit the 80's. But, here we are, minus me, thankfully. Let's hope that rolled down socks, jellies shoes, and the side ponytail stay where they are...in the 80's graveyard. Well, maybe not jellies. :)

Anniversary...the wedding birthday

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary. I remember that our first year was the toughest. I think it was hard because we only knew each other for 4 months before we married. I can say with happiness that every year has been better than the last. Through all the ups and downs, I can still say that he is the best person I know and that I'm thankful that he is my best friend through it all. We went out to dinner, just the two of us last Friday at a steakhouse and then we went for a ride on his motorcycle. I love riding on the back of his bullet bike, it makes me feel like when we started dating. We also browsed around Barnes and Noble for awhile. I could live in a bookstore and never grow bored (I know...I'm a nerd). Then, today, we took the kids to eat at a buffet restaurant. Any day that someone cooks besides me is a good day.

We then went to rent movies. Holly picked one we've seen before called "Millions". It's about a boy that sees and talks to saints and finds a bag of money and looks for ways to use it for the good of others. It's really good and also inspirational.

School has been going really well. I think that it might wear me out though. I put the kids to bed last night and had to read a couple of chapters for my grammar class. When I finished, I was exhausted and wondered what time it was. I looked at the time and it was ONLY 10:30. I haven't been to bed that early in quite some time. The class that I am still worried about is my upper level theory class. It's taught by a prof that I had for the lower level theory class and I had such a hard time with it that I had to audit it instead. I am looking forward to my reading though. I just finished "Treasure Island" and was pretty entertained by it. Next, I need to reread "Songs of Innocence and Experience" by William Blake. I read it when we were in London and also had the privilege to view some etchings by Blake up close and personal at the Tate Britian. We also saw some sketches and paintings by William Turner and Rossetti.

Well, my mind is wandering to the movie and I probably won't make much sense if I keep on. Until later.

College...where many are killed for a parking spot

I have a new found hate for some aspects of college life. Today is the first day of classes and I was running late to begin with. I think that dream was a premonition cause I ended up wearing a comfy green shirt, my converses, and cute butt jeans that shouldn't usually be teamed with either the shirt or shoes. But I was late and didn't dwell on it much. I then missed the whole of my first class...doing what, you ask? FINDING A PARKING SPOT! There are about 7 permit lots (with too many spots for faculty, I might add) and about 4 pay lots. Even most of the illegal spots were taken. It was ridiculous. And there were the ever present campus cops just itching to write tickets in every lot. I have decided that I will NOT pay $120 for a parking permit that I will probably have few chances to actually utilize in a spot on campus or any where near classes. I had to take the last spot in the parking lot equivalent of the nosebleed section...nowhere near any of my classes on a hill that will be fun to hike up after school. I literally felt like ripping someone's head off and almost did. Some idiot (whom, with my luck, will be in one of my classes) drove around me and them cut me off to try to get a spot that he didn't end up getting (nyah nyah nah nah nah nah). I know, mature. I pulled up next to him and let him have it (minus the expletives I was thinking, bonus points for me). It didn't matter much since he was yelling at the same time. Such an idgit!

So, I had to meet my prof after class and play catch up. I did, however, see two of the most beautiful friends in the world. Love ya Mody and Nobby! That cheered me up. It is a half hour til my next class and I will be done for the day. I just might take a religion class just to get a parking spot there. I have plenty of time to kill between classes...wouldn't hurt me to do some spiritual learning too. Gotta love college...even if you don't.

So then I was running from the alligator in my underwear...

Here it is...the eve of a new semester. It is the gentle calm before the storm. It is that last peaceful moment that you know you should enjoy but are too anxious to and your insides are flipping around. I had a dream the other night about starting school and I realized that I have had that same dream everytime I am about to start school again, dating back to junior high. I'm back in my childhood bedroom and I am getting ready for the first day of school. So, I look through my closet for something to wear. I have tons of cute, never before seen outfits in my closet that I would kill for, but.....I CAN'T FIND A THING TO WEAR! I have all these cute options: miniskirts, long ribbed tanks in every color, great accessories, cute butt jeans, summery dresses...everything. But I can't seem to make any of it work together to form one decent outfit. So, I look through my mom's closet to see if I can find one thing to make it work. NOTHING! I even look in my brother's clothes (something I would never have done when I was younger, the smell in his room could repel for miles). STILL NOTHING! So, I am searching and trying on everything in the house. Keep in mind that this is the whole event of the dream, trying on clothes and growing more and more frustrated that I can't make anything work. I then realize that I am late. So, I rush to do everything else; brush teeth, comb hair, makeup, etc. I decide to try one more time to find something to wear and I am only able to mismatch and leave late. I have had that dream numerous times in my life and never really looked for meaning within it. I just figured that it was an expression of my anxiety over a new year or semester. Any Freudians out there? Got an interpretation for me?

Bad Things Happen When You Exercise

I neglected to mention that I did have a bit of exercise about a week ago. When my brother and his fam were visiting, we took them downtown to do a bit of sightseeing. We did not drive and instead walked and took the train around the city and that was more walking at one time than I've done in a while. Well, the next day, I began to notice a weird noise in my left knee when I would bend. Kind of a gross stretching noise...like tendons being pulled apart. It wasn't loud and didn't hurt, so I didn't worry. Unfortunately, my trip to the gym seems to have aggravated it a bit (not to mention that I did a deep bend a few times for my husband to hear it) and it's not only louder, but my knee is sore now too. I looked up the symptom on webMD and the possibilities were not fun to read. Hopefully, it's just a pulled muscle, or a pissed off muscle wondering why in the world I am attempting exercise after all this time. I don't blame it...the rest of my body was wondering too.

My son has acting class today and has to perform a convincing death in 60 seconds. He has chosen to die by poison and if he can keep from smiling, he is pretty good. I love to watch him succeed at it. It's great. While I was helping him, something happened that amazed me. I was giving him advice on his performance and he was listening to me. He wasn't cutting me off with, "I know, Mom. I know." I noticed this quickly and was almost stunned into silence. It was great to be able to help him with something that he was willing to listen and try. I think the class is helping him to be more open to suggestion and advice. When I pick him up from class, I sometimes get to watch his taped practices. Last time, they were practicing death scenarios and Bobby was in one by himself where he suddenly lost the feeling in his body and fell to the floor. After he had collapsed, the camera closed in on his face and he had a real look of fear and panic. It was too much for me to watch and to hear him calling for help from his mom and dad. I had to stop myself from crying...it felt so real.

When my daughter was about 2 years old, she was eating some bread and began to choke. Hubby was trying everything he had been trained to do in that situation, but she was still choking and began to flail. I was calling 911 and right when they picked up, her body went limp. By doing so, her throat relaxed enough for the food to come out since she was upside down. She began to breathe shallowly and we couldn't tell right away if she really was breathing. When we knew she was okay, the medics came and checked her out. She only had some petechiae around her eyes from the lack of oxygen. That was, without a doubt, the most terrifying moment of my life. I was praying and crying and wishing it was me and was willing to give up my own life without a second thought. I knew, right then, that the worst thing that could ever happen in my life is to lose one of my children or to see them suffer. I relived this when I was watching my son's performance. I may need to realize that I might not be able to watch him perform his own death. It might be too much to ask. But this also says a lot for his abilities...he sure had me convinced that he was dying. That's pretty good for such a little guy.

Exercise, ewww!

I went to the gym tonight for the first time in about 4 months, and it's been about 6 months before that. We have a membership to a gym but I hate having to get all ready, drive there, work out, drive home, and then change. It seems like extra time for just a one hour workout. And I usually can't find my workout clothes half the time which completely surpasses the acceptable time limit for workout preparation. So, I give up and find something to snack on. So, tonight I went, mostly because I was mad about something and needed to burn off energy. I did the treadmill and the elliptical and then I did some crunches. I'm sure I'll be feeling it in the morning.

On one of my late nights up watching tv, I saw an infomercial for a workout dvd set called Slim in 6. I believe that all the testimonials on those things are bogus and bull****. Wanna know why? Cause I have seen actors do them that I have seen before in low budget movies. So, you can't convince me that they stumbled on this great product between auditions for menial acting jobs and feel that they MUST promote this product that they really and truly believe in. Anyways, testimonials aside, I was intrigued by the exercises themselves. They looked like a workout class I had taken a few years back and had great results with. So, the next day I looked it up online and I also looked up reviews by REAL people on discussion threads. 95% of what I read about people trying the video workouts was pretty positive. These people had actually seen results with the workout and are still using them at least 3 days a week or more. This further peaked my interest and I am pretty convinced that I want to give it a try.

HOLD ON RIGHT THERE, YOU NAYSAYERS! One thing that I despise is when you are telling someone about your desire to lose a few pounds or to get in better shape and they tell you, "You don't need to worry about that. You're as skinny as a post. You're crazy! You think YOU need to worry about weight!" I HATE THAT! It drives me nuts. Obviously the person sharing these desires feels uncomfortable to some degree with the state of their bodies, weight, shape, or lack of toning to be sharing it with you. By saying these things, you are undermining their trust in your opinion and their perceptions and their goals. They are NOT saying, "Ugh, I'm a big fat cow and I don't deserve to live because I can't fit in a pair of size 0 jeans!" So, PLEASE, think before you belittle a person's opinion of their own body. I know...I'm hanging off the deep end right now. But it had to be said and there it is.

So, if I decide to do this workout plan, I will update you all on my progress. I wouldn't mind doing it to get more energy too...can't always be taking those afternoon naps, you know?!

Brandy

So I am sitting here at 10:30 pm and have just sent the kids to bed. I'm supposed to be getting them to bed earlier since school starts in a week but don't seem to be very successful. I'm pretty tired myself and think I will actually make it to bed tonight before midnight. I thought I would jot a few things on here before I do. I am listening to JackFM online and it is one of my fav radio stations. "Hotel California" is playing right now...how lucky am I?! I don't know why I feel the urgent need to stay up so late nowadays. When bedtime rolls around (anytime between 10 pm and 12 am), I'm watching tv or playing a comp game and my head says that I should go to bed. But my stubborn side says, "No, you don't HAVE to. Stay up a while longer." Then a while longer becomes 3 or 4 am. I drag myself to bed reluctantly and can't fall asleep for almost 20 minutes. FYI, I never have trouble falling asleep...until lately. I can usually lay down and be out in 5 minutes, at the longest. I like being alone when everyone else is asleep and I can watch tv, eat, or surf the internet without someone needing something or wanting my attention. It's become a very bad habit though. I wake up late and feel crappy most of the day. Common sense says to just go to bed. I think I may listen to it tonight.

I was remembering back in junior high, hanging out with my friend Brandy. She was the best. I used to spend the night at her house a lot. Her mom was really cool and she always had lots of candy around the house. We would lock ourselves in Brandy's room, listen to music on her huge stereo, eat candy and talk on the phone to whomever we were dating at the time. One night, we invited some of our guy friends over and they snuck in the window. We hung out until like 6 am and they tried to sneak back out. But when they did, the geniuses walked right in front of her mom's bedroom window and she saw them. We were SO busted. I couldn't hang out with Brandy for like 2 weeks. Her mom thought we were having sex in there...we SO weren't, so don't worry mom, fam, and anyone else out there reading this. AHHH....the many memories that you will always remember and hope your parents never do.

Nelson Mandela

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that

other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.

It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give

other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,our presence

automatically liberates others.

-Nelson Mandela-

To sew or not to sew...

My frustration is at a high. I decided to start in on the baby blankets for my family. There are going to be 5 new babies in my family in the next few months. I don't remember the last time I pulled out my sewing machine and it's a temperamental machine, at best. Well, today was a bad day for the machine. It was not working for me. Temperamental, I could handle...but a part actually fell off of it and the backstitch completely quit on me. I tried to find what was wrong with it and failed miserably. So, I called it quits by the 50th time before I was tempted to pick up the nearest object and kill it myself. I shouldn't be too surprised that it's dying...it was my mom's first sewing machine, passed on to me. The one she still has now and uses is the only one I've ever seen her use, so that should tell you how old this one is. It's actually the pink and green colors that were popular in the 60s and 70s. So, now I am unable to sew and it's frustrating. I had the fabric all arranged and ready to sew and now I can't do anything. I want to kick something, but seeing as how I am wearing sandals, I won't. My creativity has been stifled and not much frustrates me more than that. Guess I'll just have to settle for reading some novels for the fall instead. But I will not be stopped, I don't care if I have to buy a new machine. I will sew soon.

Summer Semester over--2 Weeks til Fall Semester :(

Can I start out saying just how happy I am that the summer semester is over?! It is slowly sinking in that I have no homework to do, no papers to pull out of my ear in under two hours, and no tests to cram for overnight. I am starting to relax a little...almost. I've been cleaning a lot the last two days. I was so humbled that my friend, Mody, came to help me clean yesterday. I couldn't believe that she did, but she was a great help to me and I couldn't have done it without her. To pay her back, I bought pizza for lunch and made my yummy chili and cornbread for dinner. It was so nice to have someone to hang out with. I told her today that I think that the kids aren't sure if I really have friends cause I rarely have anyone over. Want to know the reason for this? I'm either too flippin' busy or the house is horribly dirty. I have to say that I am very proud of how clean the house is getting. Maybe I can keep it like that all the way through the next semester...Yeah, right! And maybe I can train the dishes to wash themselves. In my cleaning, I have found a cure for spontaneous clothes shopping...do your laundry. You always think you have nothing to wear and begin to feel the need to shop. But if you do your laundry, you'll be amazed by how many clothes you actually have. Give it a try. You'll also find your bedroom floor! It's a win-win situation.

My hubby wants us to go on this Parade of Homes. It's basically a tour you pay fo to go through a lot of upscale homes in our area. It seems like it would be fun to see these upscale homes, mostly because I would love to see the interior decorating in each and the architecture, and to be amazed by their sheer size. Not to mention that hubby's boss bought the tickets for us. Hubby is also hoping to pick up some million dollar real estate clients in the near future.

I got 2 of 3 the grades for my summer classes. The two I got were a B in Trig and an F in calculus (which was expected). I still haven't gotten my grade for English class yet. I think I will get a B or a low A in it. At the end of a semester, I usually feel a huge rush of relief after finals and turning in final papers. However, this year, it was different. I felt relief and disappointment in equal measures. This is because I know that if I had hired my tutor a few weeks sooner, I would have passed that calculus class. So, I'm kicking myself mentally. I will have to retake it and I'm not thrilled about that, but I really want the math teaching certification. I enjoy math and that will be my ticket to getting hired. Between that and having a master's, I should have a greater chance at joining a school district of my choice. I hope to get hired in a district close by so I won't have to travel much and I'll be close to the kids. Another year and a half of busting my butt like I never have before, and I will achieve my goal.

You must write!

Ok. I've made a decision. I've decided that I'm just going to write in this blog and keep in mind that I might possibly be the only one who reads or cares about it. I saw a t-shirt the other day that said, "No one wants to read your stupid blog." I thought about that more than I care to admit and wondered, "What is the real purpose of a blog?" I don't even remember my reason for starting to write one. I think it might have been because of a class website on blogger. Oh well. After a while, I realized that I hate it that no one comments on what I write. *complaining minus the whinyness* And I have figured out why it bothers me. I am a writer. When a writer writes, it's for others to read and enjoy or hate. It is what we are conditioned to expect. When you begin writing in your youth, you seek the approving feedback of those you love. You want to hear that they think your words are worth more than markings on a paper. You want to hear that they understand the meaning. Then, you have to write for school. That is when it becomes harsh. You write a paper, it could be about a book, a movie, a play, or some pressing world topic. You write whatever they ask you to write about, and as a writer, you put a little of yourself into this work. Then you turn it in with the satisfaction that only a great writer can have. Then you get it back. It's not pretty. Apparently, the teacher has missed the genius of your talent in your writing. She only sees grammatical errors, punctuation errors, and room to improve. Just when you are about to rip up the papers in your hand and take out a hit contract on your teacher, the people who hired her, and the professors who taught her in college, you find the notes on the back of the paper. They are encouraging words, words that show she did recognize your talent and urges you to try harder, reach farther, do more. She knows there is a deep well of words and thoughts within you that has yet to be explored. So, you write. Years pass, papers pass, and you are still writing. You write your thoughts, your dreams, and your assignments. Everywhere you turn, someone is reading your work, commenting on it, critiquing it. You've become accustomed to feedback, support, criticism. Then you decide to keep a blog. A way to sort of write from a more personal place in you than anyone gets to see, no longer behind the veil of everyday life and assignments. So, you write. You pour out your day, your jokes, your dissapointments, and all the little lessons you learn along the way. This is the most personal, and informal writing that you have let anyone read. And then, nothing. Not one comment, maybe not even a viewer. Confusion sets in. Where is the feedback, the applause, the criticism, the A+? What does a writer do without these things, that voice that reflects back the high and low points of their writing? These are the questions that ran through my mind. Until now. What does the writer do? You write. Even when no one is listening, reading, or commenting. You do it because you're a writer and there is an internal voice within you that, once released onto paper, will never shut up again. You must allow it to flow, or you will be going against the very way you are built. You are a writer, you must write.

HEEELLLOOO 21st Century!!!

I have finally entered the new millenium...and considering how late I usually am for everything, I'm not all that late for this. I NOW HAVE A LAPTOP! AND WIRELESS! I'm on top of the world right now. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw, spewing forth my thoughts as they come and enjoying every minute. Right now, I am reclining on my bed and updating you on this joyful event. My wonderful husband worked out the wireless kinks for me. He has really impressed me lately. He stayed up with me the other night to put together my webpage for class and I love him dearly for it. It feels so cool to be tapping away and hearing the soft clicks of the keys in my lap. I really appreciate not having to sit in a too low chair in front of a comp desk and straining to be comfortable while typing.

Updates:

We lost the key to our car this weekend. Normally, this wouldn't be too bad except that this particular vehicle requires a laser cut key and had to be ordered through the dealership for a pretty penny. I found it quite ironic, however, that the car is equipped with this laser cut key and an alarm system to deter theft because my husband had to and was able to break into it. He had some equipment that needed to be removed from the car and he literally jimmied the car like any 1980, pre-alarm and pre-laser cut key toyota econobox. Interesting, huh!?

My son has started a film acting class taught by a lady from church. She's done movie and tv appearances before and now teaches a variety of ages to act on film. His first day was on Saturday and he was kind of thrown into the mix considering classes actually started a couple of weeks ago. They said that he did really well and he told me that he really enjoyed it. I hope this is something that he finds happiness doing and that we can continue to support him in it. We're also thinking of putting our daughter in a class of her own...she's expressed an interest in playing the guitar and also in dirt bike racing. My kids are so wonderfully diverse.

Other than these things, not much to report. I'm supposed to be working on a paper and felt like I was failing when I realized that I had been staring at the wall for ten minutes. My brain is not in top form today. I think that it knows that school is almost over and it wants to quit on my already. I have my first final tomorrow and I feel quite unprepared. I would have to say that this semester was the hardest in my college career. I also have a feeling that it won't be any easier from here on out or in grad school. But I really want the prize at the end of the tunnel.