I have to say that this has been one of the weirdest weeks of my life. Nothing unusual, scary, or amazing happened. I have been living alone because my hubby took the kids with him on a business trip out of state. I had to stay because the summer semester has not ended yet and finals are soon. Why is this weird, you ask? Well, here's why....I have NEVER lived alone in all my 26 years. I grew up with both my parents and sibling. I had my son at the early age of 16. While pregnant, I lived with my older sister and her family. I moved back in with my parents until I married at 19. Then lived with my husband and son. Shortly after our marriage, I had our daughter. The closest I have ever come to living alone was on my study abroad in London. Even then, I had a roommate (loveliest of friends) and 4 other flatmates. So, yeah, I've NEVER been alone. So, I don't know what to do with myself. Not that I don't have plenty to do, but it's weird to not have to be thinking for three other people at the same time as myself. It's lonely and kind of confusing.
I've often wondered what it would have been like had I gone the traditional route (school, living alone, and then marriage and kids much later). I wondered what it would have been like having my own place, taking care of only myself, worrying only about myself. I get glimpses when I catch up with old friends that are still single and childless. They are traveling to Europe frequently, partying with friends weekly in Mexico, and quickly accomplishing in school and career. For those of you who are wondering and probably already know, I wouldn't trade. I get homemade cards saying what my kids REALLY want to say and not what the card company says. I am the recipient of numerous craft projects that they have put all their effort and imagination into. When they need a cuddle, understanding, someone to laugh at their jokes, or someone to ease their pain, I am usually the first one they think of and come to. Not to mention that my daughter is one of the BEST cuddlers in the world (sorry LonDolls) and my son can make me laugh with one sentence. They amaze me.
Many in our area have heard of the disappearance of 5-year-old Destiny Norton and unfortunately, her death. This story really affected me in that she was almost my daughter's age and so little. She is in her Heavenly Father's arms now and safe. The fact that all of this has happened while my family has been gone makes me miss them all the more. I just pray that, one day, such tragedy will not be so frequent.