Friday, February 06, 2009

What do we do? We swim, swim, swim.

I figured that I had better post while I had a chance. We got an offer on the house and it was significantly lower than our short-sale price. But, it's up to the mortgage company to approve the amount. If it's approved, we'll likely be somewhere new in the next month or two. I can't tell you how my stomach flip-flops when I think about this. Everyone says that they are impressed with how calm I have been about everything. I think I would call it resignation, not calm. Most times, I am pretty mellow, resigned to the fact that all I can do is go with the flow and take things as they come. And then, sometimes, it all catches up with me...all the worrying I'm not doing on those other days hits me all at once. My stomach knots up, I get easily frustrated, and really depressed. I stop talking in full sentences. I feel the need to cry, or yell. I know that given the situation, it's understandable how I feel on those days. But I hate feeling like that. I constantly remind myself that life could be sooo much harder than what I am experiencing right now. I should be constantly thankful that we are all healthy, well, and whole. And besides some stress, we're actually doing really well. We're fed, sheltered, warm, and comfortable. Just stressed. These are my mantras.

The future is looking blurry. I don't know where we'll be living in a couple months. I don't know if H will be working in a couple months. But I'm thankful we have some options. We have a loving family with spare rooms available anytime for us, even if they are in NM, 14 hours away. H has a summer job that is being offered to him with the chance for us all to travel for a few months. Our family and friends are really supportive and understanding that things are tight and unsure. I am just trying to get past the bad days of worry and focus on the positives. I sound like a Tony Robbins recording. But it's like Dory said, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."

2 comments:

Bryan and Whitney said...

*Hugs* I hope things start to come into better focus for you. It's so hard not to know what tomorrow, next week, next month will bring. Just keep swimming babe!

Heidi said...

I sooo hear you!! I think you're doing amazingly well. It's not about having it all together. You have such courage.
We're working our way out of this now and the sale of our house has been a huge help. I hope the same happens with you.
Sorry I haven't been around in a while. We've been moving and I have been going a little mental with all of that.
Take care of yourself!!